I took the X-Men character test on patrick's website and these were my results:



You are Storm!

You are very strong and very protective of those you love. You are in tune with nature and are very concerned with justice and humanity. Unfortunately, certain apprehensions and fears are very hard for you to overcome, and can often inhibit you when most need to be strong.


12747 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 1426661 times.
1% of people had this result.

Help.

I'm stalling. I had a paper due yesterday and I determined to wake up this morning and write it, but I just don't want to. I want to be done...I want the next period of my life to start. I realize that is a terrible mindset because it requires me to live in the future, but what about today begs me to slow down? I have to press on, buckle down, get it done, and just take another step. Why doesn't anyone else talk about this? Life seems glossed over. People smile and talk about their great days, the big changes in their lives, the adventure, excitement, fun with their friends etc. Do I have to look for these things or are some periods of life just difficult?
I have a big decision to make. Whether to remain at ACU and encure 20,000 more dollars of debt, or return to CSUB and possibly secure an internship paying 20.00/hr. with career opportunities when I graduate. God, do you have a plan for me or do you just accompany me wherever I go?
I want to know God
I want to let Him be I AM
I wish I knew what direction to go, which career to pursue, which college to complete
I want to love better today than I did yesterday
I am lost, confused, and tired, but I'm standing
I think that breakfast is only good with other people
I am at peace with God
I think I can...I think I can...
I would like to know Patrick forever
I should write my paper
I love Him so much

God, thank you for your faithfulness. Please never make it easy for me because in the difficulty I NEED you. Help me to know my humanity and accoding to psalm 139, point out everything in me that offends you and lead me along a path of everlasting life...please fulfill your purpose for me and show me a glimpse of who you are today that will blow my mind.

Friday...23 days...

Pictures of the day. I understand that a "Blog" is not supposed to be a place to post ugly pictures of yourself for everyone to view. However, I took these at the height of my stress this week and they make me smile.
 
 

 

Oh, and these are the super cool shoe/sock things that my mom sent me. They make me smile too.


My wise thought of the day is:
Immerse yourself in an environment that challenges and threatens you on every level and try to stay the same. Then look at God. 

“I have to invent my way to the truth.”- Braithwaite from Flaubert’s Parrot

I think that I had an epiphany today. I was soaking in every word of the discussion in my 20th century British literature class. It was the first time that this has happened since I have been to ACU. Usually I apply half of my mind and my body language to give the appearance that I am paying attention, but my mind flies back and forth through so many realities. Anyway, I was engaged and I learned so much. I like the line above because so often in life, I find that I invent truth. I will explain…
A remark made with certain intonation is interpreted by inventing my way to truth. A person may ask me to give them space, or they might question a statement that I just made, demeanor may suggest that they are bored or remaining engaged in conversation out of duty…however, my interpretation of their actions is an invention of what is true. The person requesting space is not saying, “I reject you, I dislike you, or I am mad at you,” it may simply mean that the individual has a need or a requirement for personal space that is more intense than mine; they just need a little time alone. I have made the mistake of interpreting others according to my personality and tendencies, which are sensitive and soft, and sometimes coated so as not to sound so harsh. In doing this, I establish a truth in my mind that the individual is saying, “I reject you, I dislike you etc.” and this becomes truth in my mind. I have invented the connection between the statement and my own perception and allowed this to be true. That is dangerous because every person is unique and if I interpret individuals according to what I know, I am misreading them, acting as a severely limited and uninformed being, missing the richness of diversity of thought, and I am selling people short because I am not really learning or reading them. I think that I need to become a student of individuals and through this, I can serve them more effectively.
The book had no ending, little consistency, a dictionary of accepted ideas, and a Bestiary
(a medieval book containing pictures and moralizing stories about real and imaginary animals). He never found the parrot that he was looking for, and he hated literary criticism. I loved it!

All In A Weekend

1 fancy dress + high heels + makeup = completely freaking out
A best friend to share it with + the best date ever + a mindset to have fun = An amazing night at the GSP formal and... A glamour shot from the Paparazzi (yes Erin, that is you!)



Kites at the park + planting flowers + five games of HORSE + smoothies = The best weekend in history










Tension honesty friendship love vulnerability hope God resolution faith = strength hope forever joy friendship trust

Smell flowers in the dark

Michael, I need some Jamba Juice. I think Strawberry surf rider would be amazing right now. MMMmmm. So my presentation today was the worst presentation EVER! I rambled for 8 minutes and then I just smiled and started laughing because I realized that some adventurous climbs leave one with a broken ankle, or ships wreck on foreign shores. I think my bad presentation just contributed to the beauty of a life that is messy and imperfect. I was thinking today, that the reason I stress out so much over schoolwork is because I refuse not to learn. For example, the process of assembling a research paper, going through the motions of the mundane that I have experienced since high school is sooo boring. God has allowed my mind to grow and expand so much in the past few years that if I limited it to the basic rules, I would never grow beyond where I am now. Fight the system, think outside of the guidelines, and fill work with passion. That is how I want to learn every day.
So, I think that I am in love. At least I know that I love someone, whatever "in love" means. Hmmm.
Would you say that dressing professionally, wearing high heels, and carrying a laptop makes people assume that you are busy or stressed? I've had the weirdest comments today.
I think that in conclusion, today has been amazing. God, what did you show me today about myself, about others, about the world around me? I don't ever want to be closed minded to the blessings and joy that he reveals with every passing day.
I need some romance in my life right now. Not a dose of Mr. Darcy’s "You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you," but Anne Shirley's romance "I love to smell flowers in the dark," she said. "You get hold of their soul then."

Right now, I am sitting in the library, but I am not. My mind is somewhere else, occupied, in love, talking with God, smelling flowers in the dark, twirling in grass, and changing every second. I will end with one quote that sums me up...

"There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just the one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting."

Today has been amazing so far! I had a productive morning that was green (poetic metaphor), I was able to go to Patrick's house for some coffee and experience a morning filled with life. It was so wonderful to see Brian smile and say hi, he and Brad were laughing, Jim had just emerged from the shower, breakfast was cooking, people's voices were cracking, and Patrick was there, which just made me smile and I kind of got lost for a moment. Anyway, I love mornings filled with life and people. I ate five pieces of cantaloupe, one apple cinnamon pop-tart, and drank a few sips of espresso before it hit me. (I had to stop taking my stomach medication because the side-effects were making me crazy with anxiety and panic attacks in the mornings) so instead I felt my stomach churning Reject...Reject... and in the most disgusting throw-up I have ever experienced, a pop-tart, chunks of Cantaloupe, espresso, and green bile propelled from my insides into the cup that sat beside me on the table in the library. It was wonderful because although it burns coming up, it is the greatest relief. Ahhh. I wrote a 5 page paper on conversational maxims in police interrogation and the way that it relates to the first amendment, and printed my 12 page paper to give a presentation. I am so excited to give my presentation even though I haven't practiced. It exhilarates me and is absolutely the best day of the entire semester. I do experience a rush of adrenaline before I stand up, but it is the adrenaline of a long adventure, of beginning a hike that will challenge you mind body, and soul, the thrill of releasing the sail on a small yacht unsure of where the wind will blow you, it is the unknown and a challenge to conquer and become bold! I'll probably write more later from the library. It is my new home since I hate to be at my house. Just think Juliet, each time I go there and explore I become three hours smarter than I was before.