Saturday, September 23, 2006

1968

I wrote about 1968 for my college admissions essays. I loved that year.

Once I found a penny from 1968. It was the year I took AP US history and I looooved my class. The penny was defaced, smashed, as if by a hammer and in my head I believed that it was part of the protesting of Vietnam, when hippies roamed the earth and burned and defaced US symbols of democracy.

The next item in my collection was an original tape of the Beatles "Seargent Pepper and the Lonely Heart's Club Band". It was a bit worn, but the tape was authentic, a 1968 original that I found in a dusty box. I treasured the tape and the messages of revival, protest, and drug induced musical freedom. I don't condone drugs, but the historic imprint on the music.

Finally, my special 1968 mustang. I drove my 3 speed no-air conditioning little car all around through high school, putting up with its quirks, putting in anti-freeze and changing the oil...once I was all dressed up for an award ceremony and my car overheated on the way so I stopped, opened the hood, rolled up my girly sleeves and dug in...meanwhile a truck of guys pulled up and asked if I was a damsel in distress. I confidently wiped the oil from my hands, dabbed the water that had splashed on my shirt, closed the hood and said, "No thanks, I've got it." I started my engine and left them in my wake. Ahhh, it made me feel a little bit of power and confidence to do that for myself.
More than that though, I imagined that it embodied a time of national interest, the radio once informed the drivers of the Nixon debtes and watergate scandal, updates on Vietnam and extend to the Cold War. To think that it was more than a car, but a piece of history that I was now a part of. It was a beautiful thing, and I played my Beatles tape, placed my penny in the ash tray, and happily drove my "history-mobile" around. Anyway, I think I am selling it to a mustang showroom, which would be pretty cool and I will know in a few days. Here are some pictures as a hopeful farewell tribute to my piece of 1968 history. Au revoir!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Why am I still in America? Why...oh why...oh why?

I had some negative remarks about the picture post below and the hidden metaphors. Sorry. Answers and truth are so rarely spelled out for us. Jim Elliot said "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." Logic, reason, and understanding are just conventions of making sense and finding answers, but they are faulty in explaining faith unfortunately. So...when it comes to God, we cannot keep our logic and reason and gain understanding. However, I don't like that quote. Jim Elliot said much more inspiring things. For example, he was always aware of God's holiness and the forever presence that is the Lord in the lives of those who claim him. Here is his prayer and mine this morning:

“Lord, my heart is weak this morning; make it strong in faith. Just as Moses
rose early and ascended the top of Sinai to have you write on the stone
tables, I ask that I might rise, apart from others, to have Thee engrave Thy
law of love upon the flesh tables of my heart. Surely thou knowest this
hunger for holiness I now experience, for Thou must have implanted it. Raise
me Jesus...”

Sunday, September 17, 2006

"There is a chapter of Revelation in everyone's life" -Anne of Green Gables



My picture "collage" is a symbol. It reads metaphorically...

Paul + conversation + broadened faith + Zephaniah = Patrick + Noël on January 27, 2007

I may post the long version some time.

Perhaps I am still 3


I love the simple peace of a simple life, with simple things and simples joys, smiles, laughter, friends, flowers, sun, rain puddles, and fuzzy blankets. I love the simplicity of a child's world, of simple awe and wonder the inquisition with the question "why" and special kisses behind a tree as we hold hands on a long walk down a tree-lined street. As Kierkegaard, I love to think...and think...and think. Why do I feel this way? What brings purpose to life, how do I fulfill God's purpose for me? What is the root cause of anything. I am disturbed when the underlying questions don't have answers like the green of the grass...why is it green? but why? I want to know. The world is a wonder and when I can't know why I feel lost grasping for truth that should be immanent? a foundation, and solidarity. Perhaps the answer to my why is control, mild assurance that will produce security.
You don't approve, but why? I hurt you, why? I'm in a silent mood, why, why, why!?
Feed me the why and I will feel peace.
He says...faith, wisdom, faith, petition, faith, hope, faith, knock, faith...
Why do I hurt, why am I alone, why am I scared, why me, why not now, Answer my why...
In a whisper "I AM."

Monday, September 11, 2006

de profundis (Latin:from the depths)


Unlike me, you are not -I trust that you will agree with me and not be offended that I say so -you are not accustomed to holding your life poetically in your hand... So you see, it provides an occasion for misunderstanding when you bring up the story of your own love life in this connection. I know nothing of these pathetic palpitations-my relationship with her has a completely different sort of reality...You are apparently a novice. You have feeling. I have passion. But my understanding is enthroned over my passion. Yet my understanding is itself a passion.

Kierkegaard...I love your words. Dear parents, how much I wish that you knew.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Best Friends

This post is for Megan Halterman...my longest best friend that is in Brazil right now. I miss you!!!
So, I decided I would remind you of our Sophomore year and all of the silly things that we used to do...surf on garbage cans, make movies about a Sasquatch and the Crocodile Hunter, Superchick music videos in cheerleading outfits, painting, "swimming", and the Victorian dresses from my grandma.










There was a bee...