Oh my goodness! I wish there was a word in our language to describe one thing after another, after another, after another, until all you can do is smile and eat ice cream (That is what I'm doing right now).
I just created a new word from Latin roots facmorneurgratous fac-mor-neur-grat-ous, to make crazy nerves joyful. There, I at least feel better being able to name what I'm experiencing!
I just came back from the dentist. My sickness in the past few years has caused the enamel to erode from my teeth and now I have two shallow cavities which, the dentist wanted $400.00 to fix! Please tell me why it costs that much to scrape a little decayed surface enamel and fill it with chemically "safe" plaster.
I shouldn't complain because my aunt works for a dentist in Fresno who has willingly agreed to do the work for free (thank you God for that blessing), but it seems so silly that two people with respectable jobs (at a school district and an aerospace company) would not receive any insurance benefits. My frustration continues...
I work for Laguna Beach Unified School District as a writing consultant. I also tutor privately. The aunt of a student that I tutor offered yesterday evening to forward my resume to her friend, the editor-in-chief of Riviera Magazine. Of course I was extremely excited to have an "in" to the publishing industry until I researched the magazine. Riviera Magazine is THE whose who of Orange County. The magazine publishes about the hottest clubs, nightlife, socialites, and chic fashion. Yes, please go ahead and laugh. If you know anything about me you would fall out of your chair thinking that I might consider editing for this publication. What in the world?!?!
I had visions of a cottage in Oregon overlooking a field or flower garden or a trickling brook where I could drink tea, write and edit manuscripts. I would make friends with simple people and live as a minimalist, giving away extra money. How is it that my opportunities are the exact opposite of this dream? I draw the line at reviewing night clubs and fashion models.
If that isn't enough, I haven't spent unnecessary money in the past several months. Food, rent, hygene, gas, savings, and cleaning products are our "splurges". We love our life, getting creative with outings, cooking masterpieces in our own kitchen, making a trip to Starbucks a novelty, and appreciating simplicity. There is not another thing I would buy if I had more money, but what gets me is that we live sacrificially for ourselves. Not to give money away, not to save for a home or an unknown something, but just to get by. That's sad when we really don't even have a reason to be here in the first place (except for a lease and Patrick's job which is not his life goal).
Beaches are beautiful. Living near the beach I conclude, is a status symbol. Long gone are the beach bungalo's and Moon Doggie surfers.
(Insert a deep breath).
I love the beach and I will cry the day we move from here (most likely), but at the moment I'm realizing that the life we're trying to live here is so radical it's like a salmon swimming up a 50 ft. waterfall.
*If however, you think that you would like to live here...Patrick and I can do it comfortably (meaning that we can buy as many groceries as we want and go out to eat once a week. Sorry, no new clothes or cars though) on his $45,000 salary. If you have a second income, it would be easy. I only say this because I've heard over and over that it's too expensive to live here and we realize that a family can live anywhere if you make the proper sacrifices.
