Piracy is my only option -Jane Austen

I’m a compulsive cleaner.
I was sitting in class today and I’m sure an incessant swishing could be heard of my pant-leg and shoe against the carpet as I had an antsy twitch in my leg that bounced my leg up and down. I tried to busy my hands with writing the notes and disregard the shouting in my head that seemed to get louder and more convincing that what I was learning has nothing to do with life. It hit me yesterday that I haven’t learned anything in college. My mind has expanded as well as my analytical ability and writing, but nothing else. If I had gone into biology I would know all kinds of new things about the structure and inner processes of life and beings, or chemistry and the composition of matter…but no. I learn over and over about analysis, all intangible, speculative things that do not have absolute truth. We were talking about incest relationships in class today. Grrr! Do I really need to hear about more incest or flagrant disregard for morality and healthy intimate relationships? My leg shook more intensely and I slumped to one side scribbling a deep blue mark on my notepaper filling it in deeper and deeper until the paper split and I refocused my attention. I fantasized about passing out and just falling from my chair to end the torturous two-hour session. No such luck. I just feel so anxious today. Maybe it was the chocolate donut that I had for breakfast with a banana. Maybe it was that school just gets to you after the quarter is nearing its end, maybe I’m just ready to be married and nothing else seems to matter, or perhaps I just want to go spend some time with God. Finally. 10:00. I bolted for the door. Perhaps more quickly than I ever have.
Home
Well, I’m still feeling it. I have two term papers due on Thursday, a two hour class this afternoon, work, tons of paperwork that still remains to be dealt with. An angry other employer that I volunteered to help…SILENCE!!!!
That’s better.
A little Christmas music, an introduction to my paper, and 1 hr. later I’m ready to clean. I love cleaning as an impulse. That, and doing intense physical activity which drives the anxiety out of me. I think I will go clean the kitchen and bathroom, do laundry, air out my room, change my sheets, and make lunch. Yes. That sounds good. What a morning. Oh, it’s only 10:43.