Image from dipity.com
I will use Kierkegaard moderately in the post, yet still profoundly. I'm moved by his small comments on compassion, because they pair with humility in a very personal way for me.
Compassion necessitates division or a gap between one being and another; the relationship is often one person in a position that is greater, the other lesser (socially, materially, physically, etc.). In order for compassion to be enacted, movement must occur to lessen the gap -one being moves toward the other, the direction being down from greatness into poverty. That is a fancy way of saying that a person sitting outside of In-N-Out with a tray full of french fries notices the tiny black bird with his head cocked sideways, his beady eyes pleading, and tosses him a single fry. That is compassion as we understand it, from a human perspective.
Kierkegaard writes that "Human compassion is always merely to a certain degree" because compassion can never full optimize or the act would cease to be compassion. Let me see if I can illustrate:
A middle-class young woman has compassion for victims of human trafficking. She donates financially to an organization that provides transitional housing, and twice a month she volunteers a few hours at the shelter. She prays for the girls, reads books about the cause, attends conferences on this topic, and brings her bag of gently used clothes at least once per year for the girls to go through.
Why is this identified as compassion? Because from her position as a middle-class young woman she is giving, descending, donating, sacrificing, and sharing with those whose needs place them in a position to receive her compassion.
Alternately, if the young woman left her snug apartment and lived with the girls on the street where they came from, in motel rooms and make-shift group homes, gave away all of her clothing except a functional pair of clothes and shoes, and a worn jacket, ceased to read her books for information and instead came to know the reality of trafficking from stories that the women told her, she would, as Kierkegaard said, become "quite literally one" with the women in appearance, poverty, abasement, reputation, and more. If this occurred, and she did not flaunt her origin, her actions would no longer be identified as compassion because she would be acting out of a position that was the same as the women she was caring for. The movement would be side to side, rather than down. And even this does not quite illustrate the reality of divine compassion that moves the one-being-helped above oneself.
As an ideology, compassion and humility is touching, but to see it, to move in this reality every day! negates the act of compassion or humility for the one involved; It normalizes the loftiness of the act. For this reason, "Human compassion [and humility] is always merely to a certain degree." We need to preserve for ourselves the distinction of greatness, of service, and of humility, which is achieved by and through division.
True compassion, divine compassion, is not evident, because one becomes "quite literally one with the most wretched . . . this is too much for people." This is far greater, "too lofty for [humans] to bear seeing in daily life."
I was challenged by this passage as I received the second of two rejections yesterday from graduate programs.
The rejections clearly highlighted my underlying desires, and the glaring, difficult-to-acknowledge pride that has emulsified pure, good intentions with weak longings for distinction. I'm going to share something that I wrote because it illustrates the point, although it's humiliating to a degree, but the feeling of being humbled is also freeing.
As I grow to push back against these desires, I hope that my definition of compassion for others and humility looks less like our human image of compassion, that still preserves some distinction for one's-self. I hope instead for divine compassion and humility that is not able to be identified because it is achieved by a position beside, and even more hoped-for, beneath those who I teach, befriend, write to, talk with, love, and serve.I want to be something special… to be recognized, better than, remarkable, beautiful, spoken about.
I want to be good at something, and I mean really good at something, so good that I can tell others and they will respect my opinion as an expert. And I don’t mean at scrubbing toilets, changing diapers, reading to children, cooking dinner, and folding matching socks together in neatly kept drawers. I want to be an expert of intellect, rhetoric, analysis, philosophy, theology. Yes, I pretty much want to tell people what to think in such a way that they are speechless, because I hate confrontation and I don’t care to argue. I would be so smart that there would be nothing but silence. (Smile). Yes. This is what I want, to revel in expertise. Stubborn, self-righteous, entitled, pessimistic, cynical, prideful, brooding, elevated, snide, vain. This is who I am. This is what my heart really looks like. And these credentials make me want to be a hero, an expert, intellectual savior of a sheep-like, lost, and hurting flock. Oh, I would abuse them with my good intentions, my criticism, expectations, and belittling, and then I would abandon them, because I would think them hopeless, pathetic creatures, beneath me and my awesome help.
Jesus' example of compassion and humility forever changed human ideas that necessitate "a degree" of action. His example fully optimized compassion, so that it ceased to exist. The gap has been closed as the lofty becomes the servant, and the one being served is lifted up.
