Yes, the picture is an actual photograph of the inside of an esophagus. I will have an IV, become sedated, and have a tube carefully slid down my throat. My only job is to swallow the tube before I am put under. There was a warning that gagging and choking reflexes will be triggered.
Why does everyone keep telling me to be strong and not to worry about it? That is worse than saying nothing. I am afraid. Yes, rationally I know it will be fine, but when people repeatedly tell me not to think about it, it discredits what I actually feel. I have always been apprehensive about doctors, surgery, needles, etc. I think that is an understandable fear.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

God, I am very afraid, I'm shaking. Please give me peace and help me to know that you are I AM. I love you. Amen.

I know that it is blurry, but this is how I feel right now.



This is how I want to feel, at peace and smiling.