"Lord I come to youLet my heart be changed, renewedFlowing from the graceThat I've found in youAnd Lord I've come to knowThe weaknesses I see in meWill be stripped awayBy the power of your love."
Songs come to us when we need them, especially worship songs. I often find myself humming the lyrics to a song, and stop to recognize the direct relevance of the words to my heart at that moment. Some people can create words for and from their heart; my words tend to be more analytical rather than an expression of direct, raw emotion. That is why I love praise music, especially songs that I have grown up with and heard my parents, mentors, and friends sing faithfully.
My heart found the song Power of Your Love this morning, a favorite from beach bonfires during my high school youth group fall retreat. I have always longed to give God my life, every bit of it. At the time, as a freshman (14), I knew that at best I could keep myself out of trouble, but processing emotions, discipline, and love, as well as aspirations for my future on my own was sure to end in a muddled disaster. I trusted God implicitly, and every day practiced giving him all that I could not carry, asking earnestly for my heart to be filled with love, truth, kindness, hope, and peace.
This season of my life is in many ways a return to humility, recognizing my powerlessness over circumstances and feelings. I find myself surrendering my life to God on so many occasions, but when he chooses to heal slowly, by allowing me to feel fear, anxiety, and hopelessness, I am so quick to default once again to my mind, processing life myself, reconfiguring situations to end the agony of emotions that he has chosen to let me stand in.
He reminded me this morning to come to Him.
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