My feet are crossed and bouncing joyfully right now. I have on my fake converse tennis shoes with the purple stripe, the plastic tag that I always forget to remove, and they embody memories of the pink and teal high top ones that I had in second grade.
I’m wearing my “skinny jeans,” which are the ones that Sarah approves of, that are coming unraveled, and that remind me of the ones Beaver Cleaver used to wear with his converse-like tennis shoes. My hair is in a ponytail and a silky windblown mess as strands that have slipped out tickle my cheek while I’m trying to write. My eyes seem to me so big right now because I just rode my bike, and they have to be open wide to take in every detail of life and character that I zoom past. To complete my ensemble, I am engulfed by a huge fuzzy grey sweatshirt and feeling completely small and huge at the same time.
I’m reminded of two things, both completely different. The first is my sophomore year of high school when Megan, Juliet and I decided to make a music video. Of course Juliet was the lead guitar player and singer with her Chinese glasses and twisted hair with bobby pins. Remember Megan that she tried to do a cartwheel off of the step and kept running into the dirt and almost in the pool? Megan played the drums, and I played my keyboard. We wore cheer uniforms, fake-glasses, and too much make-up. The trampoline shots were my favorite, but the rush of creativity and complete silliness made my eyes sparkle. I don’t know that I have ever laughed harder, except for when I re-watched it after a few years.
The other time that comes to mind is this summer when I was counseling at Jr. High camp. It was Thursday night and I was hanging out with Courtney, one of the girls that I was counseling. We were down by the lake with milkshakes and french-fries, and I saw Michael and Paul with their friends. They came up to say hi, and Paul’s friends that were girls said, awww, you are so nice to your little sister. Paul is a freshman, those girls were freshmen, and they thought that I was in seventh grade. Michael and Paul both laughed.
I love family and life and friends, and memories, but most especially I love God and that I can wear big fuzzy sweatshirts and look like a messy 12 year old, and He still loves me.
I guess it doesn’t matter that I have been pondering my future today. Switzerland, missionary, English v. history, graduate school, marriage, California, editor, professor…
Who knows? Today I am 19. I am a student, I love my family so much, I live in Texas, I have a bike, God is leading me, and in my $5.00 “converse” I will follow Him.
P.S. (For informational purposes) I really need food right now. The only thing that I have eaten all weekend is dry shredded wheat because I don’t have milk, and cookie dough. I need to buy groceries, but I haven’t. I wouldn’t recommend this. It is highly unhealthy and does not sustain a bike-riding maniac. FYI.