Down with boring paper topics!

Blah blah blah. I do not want to write a paper right now. I feel like my motivation is all the way down to 0. Language variation, nativism vs. empiricism, gender differences, age, race, and regional dialects…I just need to find a topic that impassions me. I have learned as an English major that papers have to be written, and often about topics that are not of any interest. However, it is always possible to tint the overall topic with something that sparks even a little interest. I have to think what intrigues me even slightly, what questions do I have that I could answer, are there any sub-categories that would shift the direction of the research etc. When I choose a topic this way, it makes writing bearable. When I don’t, the entire process is strenuous to my health. My mind wanders far, far away to the outer regions of Lithuania where I want to climb a tree, talk with a parrot, and eat black licorice, or just click on the Internet Explorer button and search and Google myself silly. So far today I have looked at my email, checked several blogs, wondered about Sweden, fiddled with Photoshop, and thought about adventures that I want to take someday. Really, it is not a bad position to be in, but I still have a paper due at midnight.
I think that I am going to analyze different personality types, Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic, and analyze the language variation in the speakers. For example, a choleric dominant personality has a tendency to use language as a directive where as the thoughtful melancholy uses language as an expressive. Confused?
Bob and Sam eat yellow cake with chocolate frosting for their un-birthdays. When asked to describe the experience, Bob responds that it was not his birthday, the cake was good, and he would repeat the experience. His perception was direct, he expressed himself matter of factly and to convey the point. Sam says that he prefers chocolate cake, that an un-birthday was fun, but it might lessen the experience of a real birthday, he was feeling a little depressed and so the cake made his day better. Sam skirted around the entire direct issue and used the question to express his feelings, thoughts and perceptions. Anyway, it’s an interesting topic.