It Isn't Yesterday

I'm wondering, what has happened in my life that is of real significance in the past week? No deaths, engagement in world affairs, service to some great cause, I haven't resuscitated dying patients or taught a child the letter G, shot a gun in the name of freedom or wiped the forehead of a dying aids patient. Patrick graduated from college and we left that season of our lives together. In the morning I will say goodbye to him for an indefinite period of time. Three months...or one year. My mom is here to bring me back to California to finish school. In two days I will go home to my old room, my family, old college, life, friends, adventures, etc. but maybe not. I have recently become aware of a God that does not allow me to stay the same, that pushes me forward every day, that increases my capacity for love and service with each person that I meet, my concept of beauty expands, a heart of joy and peace is more easily achieved as I am refined by His grace every day that I seek Him. What hasn't been significant in the past few days? I have had a few heart attacks as anxiety sets in and I cry until I am weak for not knowing what will come next in my life individually and with Patrick. The Healer performed surgery, placing a stint of faith and another of hope where my heart was weak. I have changed life as I have made a conscious effort to bless others with a smile or a greeting. I hope that I will be a Texan at heart if not by birth and possess the spirit of kind service and humility that my life has been blessed with by my special friends; Carla, Chad, Erin, Katie, Cole, Jim, Kevin, Crystal, and Shanas. I drove over an ice covered mountain, through and blizzard and across a dessert. It took about two and a half hours on I20 east from Abilene and I ended up in Arlington. As I drove I had to leave what was so familiar and just focus on what was ahead or I would get caught looking back and I wouldn't make it. I am new now on the other end of the adventure. My heart is stronger, motives purer, foundation in God's grace firmer, and my resolution to emanate a light is more resolute. I am afraid to take the next step so sure that I will not be different, but how could I not be and how can I not be with a God so close to my heart refusing to leave me the same as I was yesterday?