Slowly looking up

I woke up in a ball with my feet at a slight angle and I was stuck. I slept last night on the ‘love seat’ while my mom slept on the couch, so unless I was about 2 1/2-3ft. tall I was required to scrunch sleep. I had tears in my eyes when I woke up, some dried, others fresh. It’s a weird feeling. I didn’t want to leave my house, dress myself, or brush my teeth, there wasn’t really an incentive with thousands of miles of road ahead of me, but other than looking like a zombie with poofy rings beneath my eyes I successfully sanitized myself and left Abilene at 8:03 am.
We reached the ‘X’ of the U.S. boarder patrol station that I am sure Patrick would have been working at and I was passing a truck plus going downhill which equals way too fast for the Texas Ranger that happened to be patrolling speed on the other side of the interstate. I saw the lights and knew it would be seconds before they were behind me. I stopped as he walked up in his hat and cowboy boots to ask where we were headed. He happened to be a graduate of McMurry and just stopped me for being 5 miles over the speed limit because he wanted to warn me that my rate of travel plus the wind speed can easily tip Toyota 4-Runners so I thanked him with a smile and drove the proper 75 MPH speed limit for the remaining 1,000+ miles to CA. Third ‘run in with the fuzz’ since being in Texas, once for a burnt out light bulb, once for remaining at the park past curfew, and then for speeding. Each time a smile was all that was necessary to get away with a warning. However, I was shaken each time. Praise God for warnings and a blessing to ‘be careful’.
The remaining 11 hours to Phoenix were beautiful and scenic as mile after mile of dirt, tumble weeds, and mesquite bushes lined our passage like a red carpet or the essence of fragrant gardenias. I wonder why God created that stretch of earth. Was it to fortify my patience and challenge my optimism?
I dislike hotels sooo much. I used to always bring a sleeping bag because I don’t like dirty overused beds, or I would sleep on towels. I don’t like when people watch television in the room, or how I always have to wait for girls in the family to ready themselves while I wait restlessly trying to contain desires to jump from bed to bed. However, our hotel for the night redeemed itself with wireless Internet and a breakfast.
I cried myself to sleep after hanging up on a certain person then calling back to apologize. Question number 2, why did God make emotions? The intensity is sometimes way too much for me to handle and I feel a bit of insanity setting in especially as nighttime nears. It was a painful night as I shuddered slightly in sleep as my body cried to release the emotion.
Gas was finally the anticipated 3.53/gallon. Joy! My car gets 14MPG on a good day.
I arrived at my house sometime on Thursday. Life just blurred for a few hours so I’m not really sure when I got home, but my room looked like a Pottery Barn magazine because that is what my mom does. I’m not inclined to decorate my living space excessively. However, I let her do her thing. It is one way she likes to serve me but I didn’t want to touch or mess anything up. It’s a weird irony to have your personal space be established by someone else.
Life just is at the moment. God is here working on my heart but for now I’m growing. Slowly looking up.